


Turbulence

by JasonVoorhees



Series: You gotta talk about your feelings [6]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skyfire and Starscream love each other a whole lot, Starscream gets the affirmation he deserves, these poor bots are all traumatized by the war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:07:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasonVoorhees/pseuds/JasonVoorhees
Summary: Starscream has a nightmare. This time, Skyfire is there to help him through it.
Relationships: Skyfire/Starscream
Series: You gotta talk about your feelings [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571764
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	Turbulence

Skyfire was jolted out of recharge by a series of sharp blows to his cockpit. His first thought was _we’re being attacked_ and he started to sit up, only to realize that he was holding someone in his arms, someone who was thrashing wildly. Starscream.

Skyfire’s systems all onlined immediately. Starscream was having a nightmare, his face contorted with pain, and Skyfire’s spark seized in his chest. “Starscream,” he said. “Starscream, wake up.” Starscream’s struggles didn’t cease, and small whimpers fell from his mouth. “Star,” Skyfire said, desperation building. Should he hold him tighter? Release him? Skyfire didn’t know which might make it worse. He raised his volume several notches and said again, “ _Please_ , wake up!”

Starscream’s optics blinked on as the seeker drew in a sharp, shrieking gasp. He didn’t stop thrashing at first, and when his hands landed on Skyfire’s plating he startled and pushed, struggling to get out of Skyfire’s grasp.

“Starscream, you were dreaming,” Skyfire said. Not wanting to panic Starscream further, he loosened his hold. “You’re okay, you’re all right.”

“Let me _go!_ ” Starscream rasped. He shoved at Skyfire, hard, and tumbled right off the recharge table onto the floor with a loud _clank_.

Skyfire hurriedly sat up and swung his legs over the side. Starscream was looking around, optics blinking and clearly disoriented, but Skyfire didn’t know if his help was wanted so he didn’t get off the table.

“…Skyfire?” Starscream said finally, looking up at him.

“I’m here,” Skyfire said softly. “You were having a nightmare, I think.”

Starscream rubbed his head and, seemingly just noticing that he was on the floor, frowned. Skyfire badly wanted to hold him, so he slipped off the recharge table, knelt next to Starscream, and offered his arms. To his relief, Starscream immediately crawled into them. He buried his face in Skyfire’s chest and they sat there silently for a while.

Eventually Starscream mumbled, without looking up, “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Skyfire assured him. “You just shoved me. Are you okay?”

Starscream scoffed, but when he tilted his head to glance up at Skyfire his smirk fell off and he just looked tired. Skyfire bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. Starscream took a deep, slow breath and said, “I don’t know.”

Skyfire gently rubbed the back of Starscream’s wings. “It’s all right. I don’t know if any of us are okay. Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know if that’s going to make any difference,” said Starscream, looking away. He absently poked at Skyfire’s Autobot badge, tracing around the edges. “I thought I might not have those dreams anymore. I hadn’t, since you got here.”

“I have nightmares sometimes too,” said Skyfire. “Not as much anymore, but I still do.” He squeezed Starscream a little. “About the ice.” When he’d first joined the Autobots, it was terrible. Nearly every night he’d dream about the cold, so cold, and he couldn’t move, and no matter how loud he screamed for help no one could hear him.

That wasn’t quite true, though, because he knew he’d woken others, Optimus or Ratchet or Jazz or Ironhide, who’d come running and told him he’d been shouting for _someone anyone please help me_. For a long time Ratchet had given him sedatives to help him sleep.

He could definitely guess what Starscream was dreaming about. That bastard who probably caused a lot of other Decepticons to have nightmares too. “I don’t know if they’ll ever go away,” Skyfire went on, “but if I’m helping lessen yours I’m glad.”

Starscream continued tracing the badge on Skyfire’s chest. “Sometimes I can’t remember,” he said. “And it seems like maybe I was asleep that whole time.”

“The whole time when?” Skyfire asked, a little confused.

Starscream gripped the edges of Skyfire’s cockpit and said, “When I died.”

_Oh._ That. Skyfire remembered that. He remembered that all too well. When the news had reached the Autobots, and everyone else was already so exhausted from mourning their own, Skyfire had felt the shock right down to the core of his spark. And he’d cried, he’d sobbed, for days—alone, because it wasn’t fair to the others, already dealing with so much loss, that he was so distraught over a Decepticon—even though that Decepticon was the one person he’d loved more than anything in the universe. He’d isolated himself, and after several failed attempts at getting him out of his depression, the Autobots had left him alone (let Sky Lynx be the damn taxi from then on, he was sick of it anyway).

Then had come that extremely bizarre day when Octane and Rodimus had come back to Autobot City babbling about being involved with some plot of Starscream’s to bring in Galvatron but it hadn’t worked. Skyfire had interrogated them for hours until he’d got every single detail. Somehow, some way, Starscream was still out there, and Skyfire had thrown himself back into his duties with the hopes of seeing him just one more time. The Autobots pretended not to know why he was suddenly so enthusiastic to get back to work, but they all knew. He knew they knew.

Then had come the even more bizarre turn of events involving Unicron, and Starscream somehow coming entirely back to life. Starscream had laid low after that incident, but Skyfire had taken solace in just knowing he was out there. And when Galvatron had died, and Starscream rejoined the Decepticons, took over, and threw off everyone’s expectations by negotiating for peace, Skyfire knew he was going to Chaar one way or another. He’d lost Starscream once, and he’d be damned if he was ever leaving his side again.

He hadn’t asked about Starscream’s death. Starscream hadn’t talked about it. No one had talked about it, really. It was accepted as something that happened, and that was about it.

Skyfire hadn’t responded to Starscream’s admission yet, because he had no idea what to say, but Starscream kept talking.

“I wonder if I didn’t die at all,” He said. He was staring at Skyfire’s chest, not meeting his optics. “I know I still existed. I was… I was a consciousness. I was standing there, alive, and then suddenly I was just thoughts, and awareness, in a void.” The seeker shuddered. “I was there for _so long_. I couldn’t move, because I had nothing to move. I couldn’t see, or hear, or feel, because there was nothing but blackness. But I thought. I thought about everything, and I started to feel things again.”

“You mean… physically?” Skyfire asked quietly.

“No,” said Starscream. “I was scared. And I missed you. And then I just got really, really pissed off, because I didn’t want to be dead, or whatever I was. And the angrier I got, the more things came into focus, and I… was I a ghost? I don’t know. I don’t _know._ ” He slapped his hand against Skyfire’s cockpit. “I just knew I couldn’t go to the void again. I had to come back, somehow.”

“And you did,” Skyfire said. “You did, and I’m never letting you go, I promise.”

“Thanks,” Starscream whispered. “I’m sorry I shoved you. I dream… I dream that I’m back there, in the emptiness, and I have no body and I can’t do anything. It’s horrible.”

“You’re fine, Star,” said Skyfire. “I understand. You’re not going to hurt me with a few kicks and shoves.” He gently ran his hands up and down Starscream’s wings. “Maybe, though, there is someone you could talk to about it? Who may have gone through the same thing.”

Starscream looked up, frowning. “Who?”

“Optimus,” Skyfire said. “He… died, too. And then he came back.”

“No,” said Starscream, making a face. “I have absolutely no desire to have any intimate discussions with _Optimus Prime_. Ugh.”

Skyfire couldn’t help but smile at that. “It was just a suggestion.”

Starscream climbed to his feet, which put him at optic level with Skyfire. “There _may_ be some merit to it,” he said. “But I’d prefer to just try to go back to sleep right now.” He leaned forward and carefully pressed a kiss to Skyfire’s lips.

Skyfire kissed him back, and when they pulled apart they both wore small smiles. “I love you, Star,” Skyfire said.

“I love you, Sky,” Starscream replied, and they both got back onto the recharge table and snuggled up together.

Starscream tucked his head into Skyfire’s neck, and they lay there in comfortable silence. Skyfire was just starting to drift off back to sleep when Starscream said, “Optimus was gone longer than I was.”

“That’s true,” Skyfire agreed. “I could ask him about it if you like.”

Starscream didn’t say anything, so Skyfire pulled back a little to look at him and was horrified to see the expression on Starscream’s face. Starscream looked like he was about to burst into tears. “Star, what’s wrong?”

“What—” Starscream began, but his vocalizer cut off. He blinked his optics rapidly and said in a trembling voice, “What if Megatron comes back?” Before Skyfire could reply, Starscream went on, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a panic. “We have _peace!_ I’m leading the Decepticons, _and_ I have you! Everything’s—everything’s too perfect, this would be, this would be just the right time for him to come back and _ruin_ it like he ruins _everything_.”

“Oh, Star,” said Skyfire, his spark aching. He pulled Starscream close, cradled the side of his head in one hand, and tenderly kissed his forehead. “My sweet, beautiful Star. If Megatron comes back from the dead I will slaughter that bastard myself.”

Starscream clung to Skyfire like he was all that was keeping him alive, and he whispered, “What if he kills you.”

“Star,” said Skyfire firmly, determined not to let Starscream’s thoughts continue down that road. “I _will_ kill him first. And everyone here will help. Since I got here I have heard non-stop Megatron bashing. Trust me, they all hated his guts. They prefer you. They _like_ you,” he added, because he thought that was something Starscream needed to hear.

Starscream let out a sound halfway between a sob and a laugh. “No, they like _you_.”

“Well then,” said Skyfire, “they’ll all help me kill him, won’t they?”

Then Starscream did laugh, although a few tears escaped. Skyfire wiped them away, carefully, and said, “I said I’m never letting you go, Star, and I meant it. I lost you once, and I promise you that I’m going to stay by your side until the end of time, or as long as you’ll allow it.”

“I’ll always allow it,” Starscream said, and Skyfire thought that Starscream was right, everything was perfect.

He was with Starscream, his amazing, wonderful, shrewd, gorgeous Starscream, and there was nowhere in the universe he’d rather be.


End file.
